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As expected, there was no game on Saturday’s college football slate, as the Texas Longhorns made their trip to Knoxville to face the Tennessee Volunteers. Emotions were bound to be high, and with that often come some big celebrations.
That said, no one was prepared for what some Longhorns had up their sleeves…and in their pants.
Of course, over-the-top celebrations are nothing new, but let’s take a look at what the Longhorns threw down on Saturday.
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Faizon Brandon of the Tennessee Volunteers is sacked by Jelani McDonald of the Texas Longhorns during the first half of the game at Neyland Stadium on September 26, 2026 in Knoxville, Tennessee. (Johnny Izquierdo/Getty Images)
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Let’s start with junior edge rusher Colin Simmons, who hauled down a crazy Faizon Brandon for a big 16-yard loss deep in their own end of the field.
Hey, this is a big game. Go ahead and do some partying, big guy.
… Okay, maybe not that one.
That’s the kind of fire you dust off to make your friends laugh during a Thanksgiving Day pickup game in the backyard after a few Michelob Ultras. Not when you’re in the middle of a huge ranked matchup.
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The fire hurt the team — and not just from a reputational perspective — because Simmons received a penalty for “simulating to use the restroom,” which meant the sack only resulted in a one-yard loss.
Of course, social media is nuts.
And, as if all that wasn’t crazy enough, Jemele Hill, winner of the 2021 OutKick Woke All-Star Challenge, wrote something that made me laugh, and for the reason that it was meant to be.
We give credit where it’s due around here.
Of course, Simmons apologized, but did so by using possibly the worst phrasing in the situation.
We understand what he meant…
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Well, at least that was the end of the south-of-the-equator celebrations we got from the Longhorns on Saturday. It’s not like someone stepped into the end zone for a game-winning touchdown, then got his leg up like Captain Morgan, crossed his arms, pretended to sniff it, and then passed out or something. That would be crazy.
… Wait, running back Raleek Brown has what?
If this is what they do in a stadium in front of thousands of people, what kind of celebrations do they do anywhere else?!
KNOXVILLE, TENNESSEE – SEPTEMBER 26: Raleek Brown #0 of the Texas Longhorns scores a touchdown during a game between the Tennessee Volunteers and the Texas Longhorns at Neyland Stadium on September 26, 2026 in Knoxville, Tennessee. (Photo by Roger Wimmer/ISI Photos/ISI Photos via Getty Images) ()
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A moment like this meant that the admin for the DUDE Wipes X account jumped into action to do what they took an oath to do.
I just can’t get over that both happened in the same game. You’d think, after the first incident, someone would have said, “Hey, guys, let’s get out of all the festivities that die into the read-al region.”
No.
Man, McConaughey is going to need a word with the team about this.
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That’s not okay… okay, okay.
